If wishes were horses.....

There is an old adage that goes "if wishes were horses then beggars could ride". I know that wishing doesn't do much for ones situation, but hopefully if those wishes are turned into prayers situations will improve. I could spend hours wishing things were different. Instead I pray that the burdens that I am currently bearing will be eased. I pray for an improvement in Randy's health. This is probably a very selfish prayer on my part. I want his health to improve because I don't want to lose him at this point. His death would really be a blow to our family, financially as well as emotionally. If he should die soon then we will surely lose the house. We may lose it as it is because the bills exceed my income and there seems to be no relief in sight.

I pray for a true cure for diabetes so that my children can live normal lives without the need for daily insulin injections. There are so many complications that come with having diabetes. Life with this disease is a constant juggling act. Some people are better jugglers than others. For some, no matter how good they are at juggling the different facets of the disease, there are still a myriad of problems and health consequences.

I also pray for guidance during this difficult time. We are currently trying to live on basically a third of what we made in 2006. This has made things very, very tough. I've thought of trying to find a second job, but just don't know if I would have the physical stamina to do so. There are only so many corners that can be cut to save money or to stretch that money. I've cut to the bone and stretched to the limit, as far as I can tell. Perhaps through prayer I can discover other avenues.

It's been a very emotional day for me. I've had to discuss our situation with several people while attempting to find an alternative insurer for our house. Because our house isn't finished we can't actually get a home owner's policy. The policy we currently have has tripled in cost, and no one else will insure us because the house is still "under construction". We just can't seem to win. What a change from a year ago. This time last year we were doing so well. Of course Randy was feeling okay and he was working full time. Fast forward to this year and it's a completely different story. There are others who are in worse situations I know, so I don't spend time feeling sorry for myself. However, the pressure gets to even me occasionally. I think I need a good cry and some chocolate. Then I'll feel better.